What does it mean to 'win' 'American Idol'?
Since even the losers can be movie stars, this is much more than a singing competition

Oh Ryan, you naughty thing. For shame.

By Gina Carbone
gcarbone@seacoastonline.com

Two things happened last week when Michael Johns was dumped from our screens:

1. Everyone piled on Ryan Seacrest for his tricksy hobbit comment about how last year at this time the bottom contestant was allowed to stay. ... But not this year! Bye Michael Johns! Low blow. Seacrest reportedly said it was just the TV way of adding drama. Nothing personal. Not even his idea.

This teaches us a few things and invites at least one pertinent question.

First, it reminds us this is television. Every time Ryan pauses and says we’ll find out who’s going home tonight ... after this break! ... that’s letting us know this show should really be half its length, but it’s padded out to an hour to fit in advertisements and keep the ratings high for a full hour. Every time Ryan and Simon banter, think the same thing. It’s all a show. Every time they mention the idea of the contestants taking calls for “Idol Gives Back,” remember, that’s just TV. It isn’t real. David, Brooke, Kristy — none of them were taking your calls.

The flip side of that is that this show does real things for the contestants — who start out real, then are put through the PR wringer until they come out Mr. and Ms. America, shiny happy inoffensive robots every family can love.

Just last night I was driving home and heard a Daughtry song, followed by Kelly Clarkson. Today I heard Carrie Underwood, then Jordin Sparks. I actually own a Josh Gracin CD (leave me alone, I love “Brass Bed”) and sing along with Kimberley Locke’s “8th World Wonder” whenever it comes on the radio.

Jennifer Hudson won an Oscar and is coming in out in the “Sex and the City” movie. Fantasia Barrino got to star on Broadway in “The Color Purple.” Kelly and Justin Guarini made “From Justin to Kelly.” Even if they shouldn’t have.

Katherine McPhee’s marriage made headline news — as did her admission that she previously suffered from bulimia. I know just about everything about David Cook’s health and the health of his family. (Including that his older brother, Andrew, who has brain cancer, will be in the "Idol" audience Tuesday during Mariah Carey night.)

And yes, Chris Daughtry and his band were the best-selling artists of 2007.

So this is a show that is clearly much larger than just, as Simon repeats, “a singing competition.”

Which begs the question — what kind of show is “American Idol”? Popularity contest? Singing competition? Marketing contest? Is the winner the one who actually wins or who sells the most CDs or sells out the most shows?

It has been a popularity contest in the past. That’s the only reason you know Sanjaya’s name. Taylor Hicks had a decent voice, but he became the “Idol” for the same reason David Archuleta might — he has the “aww” factor. Hicks wasn’t cutesie like Little Archie, but he was fun and different. Soul Patrol! A character with salt-and-pepper hair to make him stand out.

Ruben Studdard won the singing competition aspect of the show, but his album sales haven’t exactly skyrocketed and I can’t imagine rocking out at one of his concerts. But based on pure voice, he was the best one to win the show.

In my mind, the ideal “American Idol” is like Kelly Clarkson in that she can sing like hell, move records and sell concerts. They don’t all have to be stadiums (and I guess it’s harder for her to fill those too, now).

Two of my favorite venues are The Orpheum in Boston and The Middle East in Cambridge. I could see Brooke White sitting at a piano at The Orpheum, sipping tea and giving the audience her hippie Fiona Apple routine. I’d buy a ticket to that. I could see Jason Castro filling some smaller venues too. Sitting with his guitar, just grooving with some laid-back fans.

Of the seven left, it seems pretty obvious to me that the one person poised to sell multiple albums and sell out shows is David Cook. He has that Daughtry/Live sound but he also looks like he wants to be on the show — which Chris Daughtry occasionally had trouble with. Cook flirts shamelessly with the girls in the front row and appears to want this title and everything it comes with — promotional appearances, kissing babies, the Today Show, etc. Maybe he’ll even sing an inaugural song for whoever is elected in November. He seems game.

No one else does. Little Archie is sweet and inspiring in a Josh-Groban-meets-Michael-Bublé-but-with-less-range way. But I wouldn’t buy one of his CDs. I might buy a Carly Smithson CD — she has an amazing, amazing voice — but the last few weeks have shown her weakness at performing. She does look angry and tends to rock back and forth which just makes her look mildly insane.

Syesha Mercado bores me and Kristy Lee Cook shouldn’t even be there. Jason appeals to everyone but me and although I like Brooke I think she’s better suited to her niche instead of the broad mainstream spectrum of “American Idol.” Besides, she seems to have a nice quiet life with her husband and I don’t think the massive “Idol” machine would be good for her no-Rated-R-movies lifestyle.

Based on personality I’d vote for David Archuleta. Based on pure singing chops, I’d vote for Carly Smithson. But taking into account both, plus style, range, genre and marketability, I’m going for David Cook.

THE TOP SIX

David Archuleta

Jason Castro

David Cook

Syesha Mercado

Carly Smithson

Brooke White

Who do you think should win “American Idol”?